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31 August 2012 @ 10:09 am
It's in the Vows Chapter Two  
Title: Trying to Make New Memories
Pairings/Characters: Quinn/Puck, Quinn/Jesse, Brittany/Santana, Finn/Rachel, Kurt/Blaine
Rating: T
Spoilers: None
Summary: Quinn is supposed to be trying to make new memories, but all she can think about is Jesse.



Chapter Two: Trying to Make New Memories

About a week later, Puck woke up to Quinn iming with that St. James guy. Puck couldn't believe it. She was supposed to be trying to work things out with him. She hadn't gotten any of her memories back, and it had been a rough week. Puck had been leaning on Santana quite a bit. She had been there for him. Puck looked at Quinn, who seemed to be super happy, iming with Jesse. He went to the kitchen, making sure to make a lot of noise, so she would notice him. He went to start the coffee maker. He needed a jolt of caffeine to start the day. Especially today. "What are you doing?" He asked, like he didn't know.

Quinn was busy typing with Jesse and almost didn't answer him. "Oh, just chatting with a friend." It was true, she told herself. Jesse was an old friend. Quinn also knew that she wasn't really trying to get her memories back and it had to be weighing hard on her husband. All Quinn could really think about was Jesse. It was not really good for getting her memories back. Quinn couldn't help herself. Jesse had been her fiancé before she had gone off for college and had supposedly met Puck. She knew she as being really shitty. Quinn had to decide what she was doing. She just couldn't make up her mind or stop talking to Jesse. "What's your plan for today? Do you have to go to work?"

Puck wondered what that meant, her asking. He wondered what she had planned for the day. They had been together for such a long time. Puck had never thought they would have to deal with this. Puck hated it so much he wanted to vomit. He finally answered her. "I do have to work. Why do you ask?"

That appeared to stump her. Quinn was quiet for a moment as she thought. Finally she said, "Well, I was curious because I was planning on going out. I want to get something to fix for supper. I just wanted to make sure I could surprise you. Make you something tasty." That had actually been the plan, minus the Jesse meeting she had planned. She didn't want him to be angry. Things were going well, well sort of. She didn't want to make them worse. Quinn knew she had to start trying to be there for Puck. It was just hard when she didn't remember him. It didn't feel right. He was being so great though. It wasn't right though, what she was doing.

It made Puck's whole face light up, and suddenly he was very glad that he was still with Quinn. He'd be glad to get home. Puck was glad she was seeming to go along with the plan. He had missed his wife. It wasn't the same, her not remembering him. Puck said, "That sounds really great, babe." The endearment slipped out before he knew what was happening. He just hoped she didn't get angry that he had called her that. Boy this sucked. He hated having to worry about shit like that.

To her credit, Quinn smiled at him. "Okay. Well, it'll be a big surprise. I'll make sure to fix something great. You're Jewish, right?" She asked.

That touched him, that she asked. Puck nodded. "Yeah, But I don't always do kosher like I'm supposed to." Puck thought this was a big breakthrough. Maybe she'd remember some things. That would be great. Maybe he'd stay feeling like a stranger in his own house. That was a fucking drag. Quinn nodded and told Jesse she'd be right back. She wanted to clear up her dishes. Then she had to get ready. Since she couldn't drive, she was going to take the subway. It was safest. She hated that she couldn't drive. It was a total bummer. Quinn couldn't wait till she was able to drive again. She didn't like not being mobile. Quinn liked the freedom of driving. "Do you….. I mean, do you want to invite your friends?"

That took him down a lot. Puck didn't like it when she said shit like that. Like they weren't her friends, too. "They're your friends too." He told her, sighing a little. "And that's fine." He was hoping that them being there would help her get some of her memories back. Puck had to hope where he could.

"Well, yeah." Quinn amended, as she got closer to the door. She was ready to go and shower. She didn't want to miss Jesse. "I'm going to go get ready. Have…. a good day at work." Quinn said, and headed off to get ready.

Later that afternoon, Puck was hard at work. They had signed a new singer, Blaine Anderson, and he was recording. Santana worked with him, helping man the studio. They were listening to Blaine as he was working on singing. Puck liked him a lot. He was a great guy, and super talented. Puck didn't know what to do. He was feeling great about this dinner, but what if Quinn never got her memory back? That would be the worst thing to ever happen. It was something that had been on his mind a lot lately. He didn't have a plan worked out just yet for that possibility.

Santana looked at him. She wasn't sure how she was going to bring it up to him what she had to talk to him about. She had to tell him that he had to start being at work more. Santana was a badass bitch, but she couldn't do all of this by herself. She needed him to be here and actually do his job. She had to have help. "Puckerman." She said, turning to look at him full on. "I need to have a talk with you."

That grabbed his attention. He faced her. "What's up, Santana?" He asked, as he turned his attention away from Blaine and his song. "What did you have to tell me?" He asked her. Puck could tell something was up with Santana. She was being awfully weird. He could tell it was something that would piss him off, too, from the look on her face. It came from knowing each other so well. "Out with it, Lopez."

"Hold on, Puckerman!" She said, her tone annoyed. Santana put her hands in her lap. "Okay. I know that you have shit to work through with Quinn. I know that. But…. I think you need to try and focus more on us at work. I can't do this without you." She said, looking at him with pleading eyes. "I need you to be here if you don't want your label to go down the tubes." She told him seriously.

Cursing, he looked at her. "You can't be serious! This is my marriage, Santana. You know that I am doing my best to be here." Puck couldn't help but cry a little. The situation was so helpless, and he didn't need Santana getting in his face, (however sorry she may be) about the label. "Lopez, I know you mean well, I just… this is hopeless. I don't know if I need one more thing to worry about right now." He put down the notebook he'd been scribbling notes in in disgust.

Folding her arms, Santana looked at him. "Look, Puckerman, you know that I don't need this right now. And you know that I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't have to." She said, as she set her angry eyes on him.

Letting out an exasperated noise, he got up and started pacing. She could not be seriously bringing this up. Puck was worried about losing Quinn to Jesse. He didn't know how he was going to keep her from Jesse. That guy was a major ass. He knew why Quinn and Jesse had broken up. They'd wanted different things. She had wanted to go to school, better her education. Jesse had wanted to go and be a big star on Broadway. They had argued too much, and Quinn had ended up breaking up with him. It had kept them from really being friends afterward. He didn't believe that he could really keep Quinn from being with him if he wasn't actively working to keep it from happening. It took him a minute to formulate words. "I am doing the best I can, Lopez." His tone was quiet.

Touching his arm, Santana sighed. "I know Puckerman, I know." She'd let it go for now, but they'd have to have a talk about this again. Whether he wanted to believe it or not, they had to fix situation.

Earlier that afternoon, before she'd done the grocery shopping, Quinn had met Jesse at Starbucks. She'd made sure to bundle up tightly. The snow had mostly melted but it was still really cold out. She got there a little early, and was doing her best to remain calm. She was also doing her best not to feel like she was cheating. It didn't feel like cheating to her. She didn't remember being married to Puck. Even if it hurt him. Quinn knew that most people would think that she was heartless. And maybe she was. She just couldn't help herself. She had to see why she had broken up with Jesse. She didn't trust Puck to be honest with her. Quinn was sure he knew though, so if worst came to worst.

Ordering an ice capp, she went to go and grab a table. She'd brought one of her sketchbooks, to see if she could get any ideas to draw some new designs. She still couldn't believe she was such a talented person. Quinn had never pictured herself as a creative person. She had also brought a book. In case she couldn't make any work. She couldn't wait for Jesse to arrive. She didn't know how she would manage spazz out on him. Quinn had not been able to think about anything but Jesse lately. She knew Puck was freaked out. That was the only part that wasn't really helping. Quinn was enough of a sensitive human being that she cared about his feelings. She just hoped that they could find a common ground. She didn't want like herself right now. It was a bad time for them right now.

As she was thinking about all that, Jesse arrived. She watched him as he got in line to get some coffee. She didn't know how she had broken up with him, he was so hot. She couldn't keep herself from drooling a little as she watched him. Then he was joining her, a cup of cocoa in his hand. "You don't drink coffee?" She asked.

"No, I try to keep myself as pure as possible. I don't do stimulants of any kind." Jesse gave her a smile as he sat down. Jesse had missed Quinn a lot. He knew she was married. It had been in the paper. Jesse wasn't sure why she wanted to meet him today. They hadn't talking a really long time. Jesse didn't know if it was a good idea that they were here alone together. He knew Puckerman would kill him.

She fingered her ring finger. She still had her ring on her finger. She wasn't really sure why. Quinn wasn't sure that she still considered herself married. Quinn was just loyal, she guessed. Then she turned her attention to the man in question. She didn't wait for him to ask what the deal was. "Jesse, I asked you here for a reason." She started. Taking a deep breath, she started again. "I was in a car accident a couple of weeks ago, and I… lost most of my memories." She was still really nervous. "The last thing I remember is high school. I don't remember being married, college, any of that."

Interesting. Jesse knew he could very easily steal Quinn away from Puckerman. Not that he was going to. He knew that he shouldn't. He may be an utter and complete playboy but he did know right from wrong. Most of the time, anyway. "You….. that is terrible. What…. What do you need from me?" He asked.

That required another deep breath. She watched his face as she talked. "What I need from you is to tell me why we would have split up in high school. I can take it, whatever the reason was." Quinn told him, her eyes focused on his. His eyes were so beautiful. Very very different from Puck's whiskey colored ones. It made her want to forget everything and just stare into Jesse's eyes all day.

Whether or not he should tell the truth was the question. He knew the reasons she had told Puck, but those weren't what had happened for real. What had happened for real was quite different. Jesse didn't want to hurt Quinn all over again. She had taken it badly. And he was quite sure that she had already been through enough. What he had to say was going to hurt her even more. He just watching his face as he was mulling over what he would say. Jesse took a deep sip of his cocoa. He didn't know the best course of action. Especially for Quinn. "You…. are you sure you want to know?" He asked her.

What kind of question was that? Of course she wanted to know. Quinn took a sip of her coffee with shaking hands. "I do want to know. That is why I asked you." She managed to keep her tone from getting smart with him. She looked at him as honestly as she could. Quinn didn't take her eyes off him. He was a very handsome man. Quinn was sure Jesse had made something of himself by now. He had always wanted to make himself a star. She was sure he had been successful.

Once she had stared him down for a few minutes, Jesse finally answered. "Okay. I'll tell you." After he had taken another sip of cocoa, and had taken a deep breath, he launched into the story. "We had been together for three years. It was our high school graduation day. After the ceremony, we were going to the courthouse to get married." He said, nodding. "And you were all set and excited. I did love you. More than anything. I just wasn't ready." Jesse sighed. "So after the graduation ceremony, we went to the courthouse. I was left alone waiting for you while you and your friends were making sure all of the paperwork was in order." This was hard for Jesse to talk about. He still felt really guilty for what he had done to her. It had not been right, and he knew it. "While I was sitting there, this girl came up and sat next to me. She was really upset about something. Not sure what. I never asked what was on her mind. She turned and asked me for my name. We sat and chatted for a few, and before I knew what was happening, we were kissing. It turned into a very intense makeout session really quickly."

Quinn's stomach was churning. She was starting to think she could guess what had happened. "Then what happened?" She asked, her throat tight. She was more sure that she didn't want to know now.

Looking at her with sad eyes, Jesse let out a deep breath. "You and your friends came back out, carrying all the right paperwork. You…. you caught us kissing. We were….well, there'd been some… sexual touching during the making out. The girl's mouth had been wrapped around my….my….manhood." That he grimaced about. Jesse still felt fucking terrible for what he had done. It had been the thing he regretted most in his life. Quinn had looked so hurt. He could still remember her standing there, staring, and then just pulling off one of her high heeled shoes and beating him with it. It had not been a pleasant experience.

"What did I do when I found out?" Quinn asked, looking at him sharply. If this was why she had broken up with him, then she wasn't into the idea of getting him back anymore.

"You…. you took one of your shoes off and beat me with it." Jesse pulled up his shirt sleeves. He had a few scars there. "Those are from your shoes." Jesse told her. When she found out about that, she seemed a lot pleased with herself. "Then we broke up, and you didn't speak to me on your own for three years. You seemed really happy with your husband Puck." Jesse knew she was happy. He'd seen the way they reacted to each other. Jesse had felt like he was in the presence of true love whenever he'd been in their presence. It hadn't happened very often, but it had happened before. Jesse didn't want to do a thing to cause them to break up. Quinn wasn't his anymore. He had to do his best to remember that. "No. You and Puck are really happy, Q. I had my chance with you and I blew it."

None of what she'd heard had been what she'd wanted to hear. None of it. Quinn didn't know how to process any of this. She wanted a better reason. She didn't want any of that to be true. "All this time we've been iming and you never said a word!" She cried. "You had to wait until I asked?"

That was like a blow to his heart. Jesse felt bad about how this had gone down. Whether she believed that or not didn't matter. Jesse took one of her hands in his. She didn't stop him or pull it out. That was a good sign that she was calming down a little. He sighed. "Q, I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't want to hurt you. I was doing my best to try and not tell you. I knew how much it hurt you the first time you found out. I didn't want to be the one to have to break your heart again. It was bad enough to be the one to break your heart the first time."

Letting out an exasperated noise, she ran her hand through her long blonde hair. She had never done more than keep it trimmed. She liked her hair long. Even if it was a bitch to take care of. She yanked her hand out of his. "I need to think about this, Jesse." She got up, and threw away her cup. She left in a hurry. This had not ended up the way she had expected it to. Not at all.

That had been her afternoon. It had been hard to concentrate on the lasagna and salad and garlic bread she was making. Quinn was in jeans and a sweater, and an apron tied around her neck. Quinn was working on the noodles when Puck came home. The others would be there in an hour or so. "Hello. Welcome home." She said, as she was boiling noodles.

Puck was taking off all his winter things. "Hello." He replied, as he hung up his coat. Then he took off his scarf. The sauce was bubbling away on the stove. "Smells good in here, baby." That was again, not planned. But it was too late now. It was already out there. Puck went out to get himself a beer. It had been such a long day.

"Thanks." Quinn replied. It was all she said. Nothing about the endearment he had used with her. She knew it was just second nature for him to use it. Quinn was wondering if she would start really trying to fix her marriage. Quinn was almost sure that she was not going to try again with Jesse. It hurt a lot, what he'd told her. Quinn could not imagine how she had gone through this the first time. She wasn't going to tell Noah she'd gone. She didn't think him knowing was going to make a bit of difference. In fact, it would just hurt him unnecessarily. "The others will be here soon. I hope you don't mind that I invited them."

Shaking his head, Puck sat down at the table. He sipped his beer. The table was already set for everyone. He sipped his beer some more. "It's fine." He told her, nodding. "I think it's a very good idea." He was still hoping she would get her memories back by seeing their friends and spending time with them. He thought that it would help to talk to them, get to know them again. Puck was a big advocate for doing what doctors said, they got paid good money for what they knew. Why not listen to them?

Keeping her attention on the food, Quinn tried to think about how messed up all of this was. It was really no one's fault that they had been in the accident. It had been the bad weather. Quinn just wished that it hadn't happened. Maybe it would have been better if it hadn't happened. Now Quinn felt like she was a cheater and a loser because she didn't remember her life. She hated feeling this way. Especially since she had no control over any of it. "I'm glad that you think so. I called Santana, and she told me that I should invite that new singer and his boyfriend, so I did. Is that cool?" She asked, hoping that it was, since it was already done.

"Yeah, that's fine." Puck replied. He was glad that they were doing this. He just hoped that something good would come out of it. Maybe Quinn would remember something. Puck had never met Blaine's boyfriend, so he was wondering how that was going to go. Puck wondered if he was going to be anything like Blaine. Or if he was different. Puck wondered sometimes how alike couples were. He and Quinn were practically complete opposites bit yet they completely worked. For ten years now. Puck could hardly believe he'd been tamed for that long. He and Santana had never really been exclusive. It had been too hard for him to not have sex with girls. Puck had definitely been a hound dog before he met Quinn. He was glad that she had gotten him to grow up. He had needed it. "Do you need any help, babe?" He asked.

"If you would do the bread and the salad, Noah, that would really help." Quinn just hoped he wouldn't comment on her use of his first name. She just didn't feel comfortable calling him Puck. She hoped she would one day. Quinn was starting to cry a little as she was cooking. She couldn't stop, and soon it was an all out cry.

That's when Puck got up to comfort her. He put his arms around her and leaned his head on the top of Quinn's. She didn't stop him. That was a good sign. He knew she just had to be upset of not knowing what her life was now. Puck just held her tightly, stroking her back. "It's okay, baby, just let it out." He told her. He didn't want her to be upset. He knew she couldn't help it and maybe she'd feel better. He was trying his best to be there for her the best he could.

Quinn cried some more, and then let out a scream. It was full of her frustration. She didn't know how to make this shit end. "Fuck!" She cried, making Noah look at her funny. "What?" She asked, turning to look at him, wiping her watery eyes.

"You don't…. you don't curse like that." Puck replied, shaking his head. "I mean…. I curse like that all the time, I just… you don't. It was a little strange to hear you cursing like that." Probably the weirdest thing he'd ever heard. He hoped she'd refrain from now on. It didn't feel right. It wasn't his Quinn. It was the new Quinn.

Breathing hard in her anger, she only looked back at him in confusion. She didn't understand why he was objecting. Quinn may have amnesia, but she had noticed that Puck had the mouth of a sailor on leave. If that was still a relevant expression. She went back to cooking, the tender moment forgotten. She was still cursing silently to herself, hating her life with every fiber of her being.

Sighing, Puck went to work on helping with the food. He didn't know why she'd stopped from opening up to him but it hurt that she had. Puck finished his job, and left the kitchen to get cleaned up for the company. Quinn stayed in there. Puck sighed. He took a quick shower. When he got out, he put on his nicest pair of jeans and a nice blue flannel shirt. He wanted to show her that he cared. He loved her so much. This was just as hard on him as it was her. Plus, on his way home, Britts had called him to tell him that Quinn had had a cup of coffee at Starbucks with St. James. Puck was pissed as hell. He hated that she had done that to him. It was wrong. He didn't know if he blamed Quinn though, it was what was familiar to her right now. Puck didn't want to fight with her, either. They needed to get back together. And arguing obviously wouldn't help that.

When he was ready, he went back downstairs. The food was in the oven and Brittany and Santana were there. They were in the living room talking to Quinn. Puck greeted them and Brittany happily gave him a hug. Puck wasn't surprised they were here first. He was making them some drinks. He and Santana were a little iffy with each other. They weren't sure how to act after the fight they'd had that day. He was still a bit annoyed with her. Puck supposed he understood why she had said what she had. She was only looking out for their livelihood. Puck could respect that. Even if he may not like it. After everyone was drinking wine or what have you, Finn and Rachel arrived. They had their baby in tow. Rachel and Finn had two other kids too.

Rachel immediately started apologizing. "The babysitter doesn't take care of babies as well as kids. We had to bring Tyler with us." She put the sleeping baby in the playpen brought with them.

Santana looked at her. "Our babysitter does fine, Hudson." They had a girl and a boy. Alyssa and Brandon. Alyssa was three and Brandon was five. Puck was just "Uncle Puck" to them and it was just fine with him. Santana was very grateful to him for donating sperm. She was also glad that Quinn hadn't objected any. She could have pitched a fit and she hadn't. It had been great of both of them. Santana was just glad that the babies were theirs and no one could take them away. That was the best part. She watched as Rachel started a conversation with Quinn. She was looking happy to explain things to Quinn.

A few minutes later, supper was ready and Kurt and Blaine had arrived. They all enjoyed meeting Kurt. They all sat down to supper. Puck was doing his best to keep in his anger about St. James. He was going to tell the man to keep it in his pants from now on. He just hoped he didn't have to beat his ass. That was time consuming. He couldn't concentrate on anything being talked about at the table. He heard a few things, schools, daycare, job things, and thought about how adult they all were, but that was all he heard. He was focused on his talk with St. James. It had to happen soon. No matter what he had to do.

By the time everyone had adjoined to the living room, Puck was on another topic in his head. He was thinking about how to fix things at work so that Santana would feel better about things. He didn't want to not be able to be available for Quinn right now. His marriage had to be more important than his company. At least right now. The only thing he could come up with was to hire someone else to work in the company. They could use the help, really. He hoped that would satisfy her. Puck just wanted to work things out so they could get along again. His life was so messed up right now. Royally. She didn't know how good it was right now, Puck thought, because it could end up so much worse than it was.

It didn't take long for everyone to head home after dessert was finished. That left Puck and Quinn sitting all alone together in the living room. Puck didn't want to speak at all. He was waiting for Quinn to speak. She had had time to calm down now. They could talk about this like adults. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, and then Puck finally spoke. "So I know that you went to have coffee with St. James. You're supposed to be trying to get your memories back. What you're doing, hanging out with St. James, isn't doing anything to achieve your goal." His eyes were like fire, and his tone was deadly. He couldn't wait to hear what she had to say. He was done playing the fool.

Quinn let out a sigh. She did not know what to say. She knew that what she'd done wasn't right. She knew that. She also hadn't expected him to find out, either. She looked at him, her brain working overtime to try and find the best way to phrase it. There was almost never a good way to explain bad things to Noah. She had learned this quickly. "Okay. So you know." She finally ventured.

"Hells yes I know! You think you can do anything in this town and me not hear about it? I heard about it. I heard about it the day it happened." Puck told her. He was so angry and he was working on not crying. That's how angry he was. When he got that angry he almost always started to cry. It was annoying.

Quinn herself was crying. Big fat tears rolled down her face. "I'm sorry I upset you!" She sobbed, as she ran her hand through her hair. Quinn knew that her words didn't mean very much right now. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't want to fix things with him." Quinn was dealing with the pain of that split all over again. It was not pleasant. She wanted these feelings to go away. She had already decided not to tell Puck the reason for her breakup with Jesse. She figured maybe she had told him at some point, but if she didn't that was just fine. Puck might kill Jesse if he knew what had happened. He didn't want to take a chance. She didn't want to lose either of them that way.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Puck worked at not punching the wall. "Quinn, it just so happens that does not make me feel better. And why should it? It's not as if you're trying to make things right with me and actually get on with your life! You're just looking for something better to come along! Well get used to it. This is your life! No one is going to come along and rescue you from it! We have…. had a great life! I help real music get out there, you make great clothes for people, we hang out with our friends, and we just love each other! We've been completely and totally inseparable for ten years, Quinn! And all of a sudden everything's changed! I want my wife back!" He screamed, and then stormed out of the house, slamming the front door behind him. This shit had to fucking change. And now.